Ok, ok... so I've hesitated to post a bunch of pictures for a bunch of reasons. Silly reasons that shouldn't matter, but somehow they do... or, did.
But, we are loved.
And people want to see him. And that warms my heart almost as much as he does.
So. I am sharing. Finally.
I made a video for you. But. It was like, five entire minutes long. And I wasn't even patient enough for that.
He's tiny. Five pounds plus a little. Preemies lose a little weight. Then they gain it back. They frustrate their mommies greatly. They are all about doing things when THEY want. Not when YOU want.
That little open mouth you see? This is what our NICU nurses call "caroling." If only he could learn what to do with a bottle.
This is our most recent photo. Landon likes to hold hands. A lot. We only have a little feeding tube left to lose... apparently Landon only likes to play with his bottles instead of drinking from them. This will change when he is a few days older.
As for now, I am trying to be patient. And calm. All mommies want their babies home. So, I wait. Ever so impatiently. On Landon to suck his bottle. And we rock. And we sing. And we tell stories.
I am reminded everyday of how *lucky* I am. Thank you very much to the special stranger who sent us a sweet gift in the mail. You made my day in more ways than you can imagine. It's the small things that truly make the world go 'round.
Hey everyone... no worries. We're all doing fine. Updates / new pictures soon. Landon is a tough guy with a "I'll do things when I'M ready" attitude... hence the unexpected arrival.
Amidst spending my days tucked away in the NICU, I've had lots of ... time.
Time to reflect. Time to move on. Time to close doors. Time to mend hearts.
I count my blessings as Landon and I rock back and forth. I count them when his long fingers curl around one of mine. I count them when he grunts and complains about being unwrapped from his snuggly bed. I count then when he drinks half an ounce from his bottle. I count them when I tuck him back in and say goodnight. I even count them when I am battling the sick feeling leaving him there... because, I know I can come back tomorrow. And he will still be waiting.
It's an easy place to be thankful. An easy place to find gratitude for all the small things. In light of all my personal drama ... our tiny roommate was born at 27 weeks. Her dad doesn't speak english. And so I remind myself.. my problems? They aren't so much.
God prepares you for things. I think Landon and I needed this time. These quiet moments of dozing off together in the NICU rocking chairs... these days of missing him so much my heart aches. And Landon? He's already an fighter. Strong. Brave. Amazing.